Help!
Are you one of those people who often show up late?
Before we gather here, please let me nuance this: If you’re like me on this matter, you probably don’t have a problem with procrastination (like that…🥴). You deliver your duties on time! Matter of fact, you often PREcrastinate (maybe that’s some sort of an issue too🥴) because both you and I enjoy checking things out of our to-do lists. I respect deadlines, deliver work given to me and finish tasks on time, if not before time. It is a personal challenge that I enjoy taking on.
But SHOWING UP!!? That’s another story!
I might not be showing up late because I spent two hours sitting on the lap of my bed, mentally tired and thinking about nothing. Many people struggle with that, but that’s not the case that I’ve been experiencing so far.
If I would ever find myself that much demotivated, I would love to think that I’d take a break from whatever would cause me such exhaustion… Some time away, temporarily or definitely, depending on the situation… But when I am late to an event, it would mostly be that I got caught up on some other tasks that I absolutely wanted to do before leaving.
Not too long ago, I missed a comedy spectacle that I really wanted to attend. I won’t tell you what part of the show they were performing when I finally arrived, but for sure I felt terribly ashamed. Since I didn’t want to go back home so soon, I went to another place where I could process the disappointment in some healthy kind of way (let’s just agree that treating myself to a little ice cream to alleviate the feeling was a good way to get by). That sadness was actually what made me start deeply pondering on that chronic habit I had of showing up late to places. “Why do I always do this?” That was no longer a rhetorical question, but a real concern. I needed to identify and catch the sponsoring thoughts that I subconsciously believed, which was causing me to act like that continuously.
And last weekend, I think I finally put a finger on it! Well, hopefully… But in all the cases, that’s why I decided to write this article about it.
The way I see it: it’s like a two-sided piece of thought.
On one side, I realized that every time that I have to leave at a certain hour, I’m triggered to get as many things done as possible, before leaving. I would want to do too much in a laps of time that would seem fair to me, but the reality would prove me wrong measuring up the time, and I would too often end up rushing myself out.
Two or three years ago, after I was done sneaking into the office I was working at that time, I finally fell down on my chair, relieved that I hadn’t been “seen by my supervisor” coming in that morning “late-again”. One of the best coworkers I had the pleasure to work with (I still love that girl), -and to whom I was probably a case of study for living so close to the office and still managing to come late so often-, told me about that phenomenon she just found out called “time blindness”, empathically suggesting that it could be my issue. It’s when you fail to estimate correctly how long a task might take you, and do not really see how time passes by. That felt somewhat relatable. Indeed, I tended to always have that belief that I would always have the time to do all those personal activities or chores that I’d plan to do before leaving, and that couldn’t be more miscalculated.
(By the way, do y’all really have a morning routine? Asking for a friend😬)
Another thing that wasn’t helping (we’re still on the first side of the thought) is that my mornings aren’t alike. God bless the people who have a morning routine, if that really serves them! My only consistent thing in the morning is that I would always pray; at least, I’d say thanks to God for waking up and would recommend the day to Him. Other than that, every single morning of mine is its unique self, mostly depending on the night before, or on the plans ahead for the day.
Some mornings, I may work out, music blasting and all, and some I may not. Some mornings I may cook breakfast and clean the kitchen before leaving; some others, I would be heating leftovers, and advance on a document for a while before leaving. In sum, when the time is up and that alarm to stop everything and go prepare would ring, it would often be a surprise. I often find myself then tempted to fly a little further in the face of that dear alarm. Sometimes, that would work and I would actually manage to leave on time even after cheating on my alarm. And of course, those times would unquestionably be rare exceptions… but they do happen! And that sweet feeling of beating the clock would feel so good that I would still want to try it again the next day, and the day after that, and so on…
Anyway! That day I missed the comedy show that I mentioned earlier, my heart kinda broke a little but it opened my eyes. I realized that I needed to address this issue before I would miss on a much bigger or more serious opportunity. Since then, I stopped setting big tasks to do in mornings where I would have to leave early, altogether. If I estimated there’s a lot of time available and I could give something a pass, I would remain vigilant on for how long, and I would disregard whether it’s finished or not when that alarm rings: I would leave it right there. I also delegated food prep to mainly focused on getting ready and leave better adjusted instead. And If I failed a bit to manage the time set, and there would come the risk to run late, it would rather cost me money than to be actually late. For example, I would leave without eating and would have to buy food while at work. And so far, it’s been working great. My time management significantly improved ever since.
Back to that two-sided thought: let’s flip it!
On the other side of that thought, I find myself a bit entitled to my time, which makes me often prioritize what’s in my heart to do, over other people’s agenda for me. That’s also why I deliver work on time because since it’s a commitment, my challenge becomes now to find out how fast I can deliver the best work possible, in order to free my time back to myself, while I keep that professional conscience of mine not only at peace but satisfied. That’s one of the challenges that I enjoy taking. But again the higher goal is to free my time back to me as soon as possible. I just love that feeling. That’s also why I prefer the flexibility of contracts, over the rigidity of full-time jobs, even when I am grateful for whichever.
So on that part, I understand myself. Also on the back of my mind, there’s that statement “your time is your life’s currency”. To me, it’s quite obvious that the time you give away you can never take back. That’s why I hardly can do anything that I don’t have the heart to do. Even if I greet you and just pass, I greet you heartfully, I was willing to greet you. When you understand that time is actually your life running, it’s hard to part your limited time on Earth between when you’re actually living your life and when you’re not. You can’t say, there’s my work time, there’s my business time, there’s my family time, then there’s my actual living time. Our life is still being spent in everything we partake in, regardless. I see everything I do as part of my whole life, since these aspects involve parts of my limited time on earth.
The time I spend at work, for example, is still my life being spent there. If I didn’t love it meanwhile, it would be a waste of life because there is no way I can retrieve those hours back. Even when we would find our backs against the wall, or have to do things we do not so much enjoy doing, if we absolutely have to do them, it would best to at least be truly willing to do them, finding some purpose worthwhile, the clear reason why you actually have to do this. Because we’re involving our time in anything we do, therefore: our life! So why not be fully aware and present, experience it all, and make the best out of what we choose to do with our time, with our life! I won’t be breathing and stay stuck. I’ll be there by agreement or willingness; or won’t be there at all. We have the responsibility (response-ability) for our lives! So because I feel this way about life, I also feel this way about time.
I’m entitled to my time but I am also working to fairly prioritize things. Finding the balance is to acknowledge that right not only for ourselves, but also for the other people we may have a meeting, date, or any timely agreement with. We should respect their time just as much as we respect ours.
After acknowledging that double-edged thought, my time management issue for showing up improved considerably.
Punctuality in all its GLORY!
But here’s a higher concept about punctuality that a father in the faith introduced me to, some while ago, during a group meeting. And as I am writing this, I had to go back to my notes in order to share parts of that teaching. He said that punctuality is not only about being on time for meetings and schedules, but it is also to diligently yield the fruit God expects us to yield during a specific season in our lives, before it changes.
He said that we may be punctual for men and women, showing up on time everywhere, and not be punctual for God for the season He sees us in. He added that when we waste our time, we waste opportunities to accomplish what God wanted us to accomplish during our life, because God has a project for every person on Earth and provides a specific length of time for that: our lifetime.
Glorifying God is actually to accomplish all He sent you on Earth to do (John 17:4). Others think that we ought to deliver all the packages of gifts and sets of talents God had put in us to serve the generation we’re in, before our time is up, before we go back to Him (and report).
So what is your craft? What has been expected of you for the season in your life you’re currently in? If we have no idea, instead of wasting more time in figuring out by ourselves, trying all kinds of things, let’s just set a time to search God on the subject. Asking our Maker would be the smartest and safest way to find out, don’t you think so?
So we thought that I was the one who had been struggling with punctuality. Don’t let it be the two of us now (or better said, don’t let it be only you now😉!).
Lord, help us⏳